Finals Fashion
Are your pants’ waistlines made of elastic? Are you wearing flip-flops in public? Is your hair easily habitable by mice? If you said yes to any of these questions, chances are it’s finals week. That, or you’re a loyal patron of Wal-Mart. (But probably not, because this is LM. We shop at Target up here.) All that aside, finals week, which is quickly approaching, brings us a colorful and interesting variety of styles, rivaled only by the homeless and the tweens on Disney Channel. These styles can easily be separated into four separate classes of varying degrees of effort.
First and foremost, you’ve got your pajama wearers. Fun, hip, fresh, and comfy, these kids emulate “just rolled out of bed” effortlessness by rocking anything from flannel pants to pajama shorts and oversized t-shirts, with an occasional full-piece adult onesie tossed into the mix. They may look vaguely ridiculous, but no one can deny that they’re cozy.
Second, you’ve got your sweatsuit wearers. These, I feel, take up most of the high school population. They’ve got the right idea in loose-fitting sweatpants or running shorts, usually paired with a bat mitzvah t-shirt or oversized sweatshirt. These outfits are not only comfortable, but they also, as the name would suggest, allow you to stress-sweat to your little heart’s content over how the heck to do stoichiometry.
I like to call the next level up the “Almost Try-Hards.” You’ll see these fellow high schoolers looking almost put together, but still making it nice and clear that they too stayed up until three a.m. studying and crying last night. You might spot leggings, maybe a pair of jean shorts, or even a button-down on these fashionistas. However, comfort still remains their top priority, even if they’ve opted out on sweats.
The last class, however, is the worst one. You know who I’m talking about. The kids who actually look good. During finals week. The girls in skirts or well-coordinated tops and bottoms, the boys who really went for it and broke out the khakis. You know, the ones that make it painfully obvious that yes, you are wearing sweatpants three sizes too big and Old Navy flip-flops. The traitors. Take comfort in the fact that they’re nowhere near as cozy as you are in your Target-chic outfit.
So, as finals week draws ever near, ask yourself, LM: what class are you in? Pajamas? Sweatpants? And if you identify as one who really tries to look fresh during the week of hell that is finals, answer me this: Is it really worth it?