50 things Christian Grey doesn't want you to know

We need to talk about 50 Shades of Grey. A lot of jokes have been made about it, and there’s definitely a lot of hype surrounding it, and that’s totally understandable. The books and movie depict a marginalized form of sex, BDSM, which doesn’t get talked about openly a lot due to its graphic and complex nature. Now, since this is a school article, obviously I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty of BDSM, but all you need to know is that the acronym stands for Bondage/Discipline, Dominant/Submissive, and Sadism/Masochism. I’m going to start off by saying that there will be no shaming here. What someone does in their free time is nobody’s business except their own, as long as it is between consenting adults. A responsible BDSM relationship occurs because both parties want it to occur, and both parties are on the same terms about what they want out of it. (Yes, I researched BDSM for this article, so you all better read the heck out of it). The paramount requirement of a BDSM relationship is trust. One person is putting their body in another person’s hands, completely. This is why “safewords” exist. If one person becomes uncomfortable with what is happening, he or she says the “safeword,” bringing all of the activities to a complete standstill.

I’m disappointed in the article that was published in the last Merionite about 50 Shades of Grey. Although I think it’s fantastic that we can be so open and mainstream about sex in this day and age, I wish people had understood exactly what they were joking about. The fact is that the relationship depicted in 50 Shades of Grey is not like the relationship I described above. Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey’s relationship is an abusive relationship masquerading as BDSM. Not all BDSM relationships are abusive, but this one certainly is. Christian manipulates a completely inexperienced girl into an incredibly intense relationship, even going to far as making her sign a contract right off the bat. He ignores safe words and consent, and he is emotionally abusive.

Let’s take a look at some of the most stomach-churning quotes from the book:

“‘Christ Ana!’ he bangs his fist on the table, making me jump, and stands so abruptly he almost knocks the dining chair over. ‘You have one thing, one thing to remember. Sh*t! I don’t f----ing believe it. How could you be so stupid?’”

“‘Alaska is very cold and no place to run. I would find you. I can track your cellphone—remember?’”

“‘You need to learn to manage my expectations. I am not a patient man.’ He’d probably like to beat seven shades of sh*t out of me. The thought is depressing.”

These are not examples of healthy kink. These are examples of verbal abuse, stalking, and, in Anastasia’s case, fear of her partner. It’s time the world had a more open and free dialogue regarding sex, and it’s amazing that a book exploring the topic of BDSM became so popular in mainstream culture, but please God: why did it have to be this book?

#history